Excess

It's so easy to come back to you,
So easy to come back to you,
Don't look at me now,
You won't see this as weeks go by,

L-L-Let me cry, throat burning, body thinning,
Or so I think.
It's so easy to come back to you

Make me fleshless, I don't like the skin I'm in
Delicate, fragile, make me skin and bones,

Bulging body stares at me through the mirror.
Let me waste away the excess;
Let me look like the rest.
Burn away my impurities
Scare away my weight,
Make me featherlight,

Oh but it'll win,
Consume me,
So easy to come back to you.
So easy to come back to you.
So easy, I keep falling,  I keep falling back to you.

But I'll stay silent until that point,
Ruin and add tragedy to my own life,
Praying no one else get's hit with it

Let myself fade away quickly,
So as to not be saved from myself.
It's so easy to come back to you,
So easy to come back to you,

Silence

I’m scared, terrified, shaking,
Knowing that my emotional words may not be appreciated,
Or reciprocated
Instead invalidated or investigated.

It scares me to speak.
Words flowing out of my shaking fingertips,
I feel the need to vomit.

My heart up for scrutiny,
Intentions to be judged,
By someone who is no longer a resident,
But instead a tourist to my heart.

Perhaps a year of silence is enough,
Unlikely to get us anywhere.
There were none like us.
Nor will there ever be.

I wonder where I lie in your mind,
In a prison, locked away, preferred to be not thought of,
Or in the clouds, where you would look when you need light.

In mine, you show in dreams, perhaps naïve,
My subconscious misses you.
I realise sometimes that I do too.

You lie  in the field of people who no longer trust you,
But I have forgiven, despite sadness and regret.
I wish to move on, move past, rise above.