Insanity

The world spins,
Uncontrollably bringing me sadness,
Contagious I am,
Flooding over me is insanity.
Mind a whirl wind idea of hope
Until I realize I'm sober
I reach the end of my rope
As I understand nothing of how I am.
My mind wanders into ideas of honesty,
Being honest about who I am, but I wonder still,
Why when I am still,
Does my mind wander in uncertainty?
A sober human with a mind that roars intoxication,
Bringing unsteadiness, weakness, and the feeling of being dizzy,
But I am sober.
This makes me desire the feeling
I want it to grow stronger
So I have to work harder
To keep myself sober longer.
In the end I always fail,
I bow down and swallow the pills,
Swallow the pain,
Becoming further sickened by the intoxication
Worrying minds become unimportant,
Suddenly I don't miss the feeling,
Wish I'd never touched this regret,
Said the one whose head spins round,
With nothing but insanity fluttering about,
I simply wish to understand this,
Why must I be tempted by false realities,
Dragged down deep by the trance I feel,
This makes my insanity real.