In The Air

Some nights before I speak
I let my irrationalities peak
And I let out silent cries in despair
As an angel cursed with nightmares

Causing my heart to crave a foggy glow
That which some pills might show
Making me want the simplicity of comatose
Which involves nothing more than a higher dose

My anxieties trying to complete my soul
I tell them to yield, I put them on hold
A loud heartbeat is nothing in comparison
To the dozens of times my mind churns within

I gather inner strength from lack of air
And try nothing more than to take care
For every moment I waste not breathing
It’s another I live internally bleeding

Irrationalities filling my mind like stars in the sky
Making my mind anxious and my heart shy
And all the while I misread it as being gleeful
When reality reveals it as being lethal

I make realizations about who I was
And the reasons behind the ‘because’
So I replaced my sadness with insecurities, irrationalities, anxieties,
And the sadness crept right back up to overwhelm me