Pondering

Occasionally I ponder-

Why the days are so long

Why a new day comes and goes

And why I play along 

I wonder what the purpose is 

I know this is a game 

One to win; though I always lose-

It doth cause me great shame

I’m trapped within society 

I am deaf and a mute

Unable to communicate 

Being in disrepute 

Heartless forever I am now 

I can see but not feel 

Brain in the clouds 

This life doesn’t feel real 

Emptiness scattering inside 

My hearts’ chambers lifeless

No matter what I do and try

Though it’s my fault- I do confess

Occasionally I ponder-

Why the days are so long

Why a new day comes and goes

And why I play along 

I took advantage of the time 

Didn’t appreciate 

Now I am left with nothing else

And this life I do hate

Not ever thinking of the truth 

Not thinking of what’s right 

Only thinking of tomorrow 

And only of tonight 

With days ahead so appealing 

And the days behind not 

I don’t know why I’m living here

When each day I’m distraught 

By far the hate runs deep in me 

My brain holding grudges

And my heart feeling pain from this 

From all misjudges

It’s time for me to bid farewell 

My time is all too long 

Between the days and days gone by 

I’ll sing this little song

Occasionally I ponder-

Why the days are so long

Why a new day comes and goes

And why I play along 

The Canvas

I look at this blank page as my canvas
And the look on my face tired and weary,
As I finish my masterpiece
Or rather start it-
I can’t get past the start as always
And I drag it on for days,
Searching only for ways-
Ways to finish and create something worthwhile,
My expression going out of style
Waiting for words to drip off my pen
And create something beautiful.
This page still scarily blank
As I hope for my thoughts to drop-
To plummet onto the page during my fits of rage,
So I come out of my cage-
And I let them drop-
Sprawling on my page as paint would on a canvas.
My thoughts and emotions falling off my chest-
Drained from my mind.
While I work, my mind in a trance,
Because I know there is always a second chance
And as my canvas becomes covered, my eyes lighten up-
My masterpiece complete
I’ve reached yet another incredible feat