Teardrop Lullaby

Tears race silently down my cheeks as I lay in bed
For I cannot escape these thoughts in my head
These feelings debilitating
I can’t help but hating

This life no longer seems worth living
Depression so unforgiving
Tearing my heart and life to bits
Feels like time to call life quits

Brain waiting and waiting as my mind works
All responsibilities I do shirk
Until the moment I feel intact
And this happiness no longer an act

A person of deception I am
Out of every jam
No matter they believe me
I am no one I am just ‘she’

These thoughts doth fill my head every night
Each evening I go to bed with fright
Wishing I could wake up and things would be changed
Though each morning I am still estranged

New Low

I’ve hit a new low
One that I’m afraid to show
Rock bottom where I am
It all feels a sham

Nothing and no one changing it
Still holding in every little bit
I hate myself, every part of me
Thinking things will change, well we’ll see

How can people believe what I say
When I cry as I lay
The lies I tell so opaque
I wonder when I will show as fake

Who can believe
When it is so simple to deceive
Love no longer lingers and lurks
Happiness an occasional perk

Overwhelmed by things bad
Part of what makes me sad
I hate and I hurt
Each time with suicide I do flirt

Pain and sorrow hard to bear
I hurt myself to make it seem fair
My low that I hit an unfortunate one
It’s far too late though, it’s already begun